About This Site
Dear Friends:
LivingConversations is a site about life, living and the power of survival. It is, I hope, the beginning of a discussion among all women who have been touched in some way by breast cancer. And through this forum, we can combat our fears, share our joys and lift our spirits–together. For where there is hope, there is life.
Two Ways of Facing Cancer
Until October 11, 2001, the day when I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 44, breast cancer had always been something that happened to other women. The pink ribbon was a pretty but irrelevant symbol, and breast cancer awareness month was just another cause competing for my attention.
While I remember my diagnosis date clearly, the rest of that day remains a blur, even all these years later. I heard and absorbed little after hearing the "c" word, but way down deep, I knew that in order to live, I had to focus on living and on being a survivor. That's when survival became my mission and getting to what I call the "other side of my cancer" was my goal. It drove all of my actions and activities–from my choice of doctor and cancer institute to the materials I read and the people I talked to and wanted to share my life with.
My first step toward the other side of cancer was taking a zero-tolerance approach to negativity, both from myself and from others. I tuned out women who thought they were helping by telling me how sick I'd be or how tired I'd feel or how I'd have to "slow down" and "take it easy." I consciously avoided medical information that focused too much on the probabilities of something else happening down the road. There was no room for such darkness–only light.
What I found extremely comforting was that some women, upon hearing the news of my diagnosis, would volunteer that they or their relatives or friends were 3-, 5-, 10-, 15-, or 20-year survivors–and some had survived even longer than that. I was inspired by their stories, fascinated by accounts of how much their lives had changed, and awed by the courage it took to start anew. Countless women–many of whom I had never met before my cancer diagnosis–would grab my hand, give me a hug, look me straight in the eyes with a smile and tell me, "you can do it."
These women, with their gentle words of encouragement cheering me on to victory, were the evidence that survival was possible. Most importantly, they taught me that the spirit of survival is a special gift meant to be shared with others.
Fighting a Personal Battle, Yet Never Alone
Today, I am one of the more than 2.4 million women in the US who has survived a breast cancer diagnosis. I have had the privilege of sharing the spirit of survival with many women who have since taken the journey that I began 6 years ago.
Perhaps the most important person I had the chance to help is my own mother.
Unbeknownst to the family or her doctor, my mom had been battling breast cancer for 2 years by the time I was diagnosed. Her decision to keep her disease a secret was rooted in a genuine fear of treatment and her reality of never having known anyone to have survived it. Two years after my treatment concluded–four years after finding her lump–she called to tell me that she, too, had been diagnosed with breast cancer. She also told me that my survival had given her the courage to want to be a survivor and seek help.
Today, after a long and difficult journey, my mom is now a 3-year breast cancer survivor. Our family truly understands what a powerful gift survival can be.
Opening the Conversation With Admiration and Appreciation
This site was inspired by my own experiences and a passion to do my part in sharing the gift of survival with all of the women who will be touched by this disease.
I want others who may not have a ready support network or family close at hand to know that life on the other side of cancer is more enriching than can ever be imagined.
I want them to know that they can do it, too, just like the women whose stories are on this site and the many more who are all around them. I want them to feel the support and hear the words of encouragement the women gathered here offer.
I am grateful to the women who have shared their powerful stories.
Many have said that they are better for their cancer experience and that they now laugh louder and love deeper. Others have reported that their relationships are richer and their faith is more satisfying. Some have shared that their friendships with women are more meaningful, and that certain decisions now seem easier to make.
For their willingness to share very personal survival stories with you, and for their authentic and courageous messages, I thank these amazing and beautiful women with my whole heart, I am confident that that you, too, will find their messages as comforting, reassuring and inspirational as I have.
I also want to thank you for taking the time to visit. I look forward to your feedback and I hope that you will share this site with everyone who needs to know that the power of survival is well within reach.
I've witnessed the power of survival and I want to pass it on. I hope that you will too.
With unending thanks,
Karen
Additional Thanks
Living Conversations is entirely self-funded but would never have been made possible without the support of many.
My husband has been by my side since the beginning of this journey and his love and support have been my rock–then and always. He is a generous and loving man who shares my passion to help women affected by this disease.
Dr. Eric Winer at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute is one of the field's brightest lights and has been the principal guide in my cancer journey. Dr. Winer has devoted his life to beating this disease. He presented me with options and treated me with respect, kindness and compassion.
Dana-Farber Cancer Institute became my surrogate family when my treatment began. At the time, I was new to Boston and the Dana-Farber doctors and staff welcomed me and made me feel safe and secure. It's because of Eric Winer and the Dana-Farber that my husband and I have made a commitment to help the Institute find innovative ways to conquer this disease.
In my journey, I've been inspired by so many survivors. One in particular is Patty Franchi Flaherty, herself a 9-year ovarian cancer survivor and one of the most courageous women I've ever met. She has shown me the power of "girlfriends"— and the wisdom of channeling my passion for cancer research into something fulfilling and meaningful.
I am also grateful to Sabre Imagery (and their band of Drupal programmers!) whose creativity, web expertise and compassion helped me realize my vision of building a powerful community of survivors. Their support of this project means more to me than they will ever know.
My deepest affection,
Karen
Watch the video from my appearance on the Today Show:
